I found out that there are 6,468 specific commands in the bible. There are also divine suggestions. Did you know that?
I have on my mind something specific this morning regarding pre-marital dating. I want to emphasize a point that I believe will give us guidance as we begin to consider whether or not to follow the worldly custom of dating.
I want to look at 1 Corinthians, chapter 7. This section of scripture contains both commands and "suggestions". (I've shown only the relevant scriptures here)
1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband....
6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command....
9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
There is so much to explain here, but I'll get straight to the point.
In verse one the NAS translation renders the literal "not to touch a woman." This is translated in other versions as "not to marry". In bible times unmarried men did not even touch unmarried women so they would avoid the appearance of immorality. This became a common phrase to describe an unmarried man. Paul is suggesting men stay single as long as possible to be more available for Kingdom work. He is not commanding singleness. The point? Unmarried men should keep a distance from unmarried women to avoid the appearance of immorality. What immorality? Unmarried sexual intimacy, which was called fornication in the bible and it was (and still is) a very serious sin.
What is the practical application for us today? It's given straight to us in verse 9. If you can't resist your sexual urges, then its far better for you to get married than stay single and struggle with sexual temptation. Marriage is the only biblically sanctioned context for a man and woman to experience sexual and emotional intimacy.
Now I'm going to offer a bit of advice of my own here. A suggestion that isn't divine, but worth hearing anyway. If you find yourself in an exclusive dating relationship, you may feel like it's perfect, right, and good. But, by sharing intimacy of any sort with someone who is not your wife, you are stealing that intimacy away from your future spouse, and causing the other person to steal from their future spouse. All of your heart is to be reserved for the one you marry. ALL OF IT!
So stop stealing all the benefits that are supposed to come in the covenant of marriage (which includes emotional as well as physical intimacy, alone time, pet names, etc.) and begin to save what's left of your heart for the one you will marry. If you date for any other reason than marriage, then you are doing it to satisfy your own lustful cravings. To me that is simply selfish and ignoble.
I sounded harsh on purpose, but mostly I want what's best for all those that find this note. I'm convinced that God also wants you to experience life without regrets and that is one reason we have the scriptures.
Please consider these things and pray that God would show you what to do in your own life.
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